










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 226 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
744 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,054 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 395 | 37% |
| Smokes | 343 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 179 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 137 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $217,043 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 86 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pala_Zz | 57% | 7 |
| #2 | Maggus | 51% | 41 |
| #3 | superswager | 48% | 58 |
| #4 | ~ππΈπΈπ·π~ | 47% | 59 |
| #5 | Flexxis | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pala_Zz | 57% | 7 |
| #2 | Maggus | 51% | 41 |
| #3 | superswager | 48% | 58 |
| #4 | ~ππΈπΈπ·π~ | 47% | 59 |
| #5 | Flexxis | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | superswager | 34 | 0.0321 |
| #2 | ~ππΈπΈπ·π~ | 23 | 0.0216 |
| #3 | Flexxis | 20 | 0.0673 |
| #4 | Maggus | 3 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Pala_Zz | 1 | 0.0070 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ~ππΈπΈπ·π~ | 195 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #2 | superswager | 179 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | Maggus | 38 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Flexxis | 16 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | Pala_Zz | 8 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bob Tschigerillo | +4.77 | 32 | 31 |
| #2 | superswager | +1.90 | 20 | 48 |
| #3 | Pala_Zz | +1.27 | 73 | 38 |
| #4 | Flexxis | +0.78 | 18 | 28 |
| #5 | ~ππΈπΈπ·π~ | -1.55 | 4 | 30 |





