










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 70 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
148 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 612 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 115 | 19% |
| Smokes | 169 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 195 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 133 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $240,582 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 66 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpleefSam | 27% | 11 |
| #2 | iloveoffice | 27% | 22 |
| #3 | Komo | 25% | 4 |
| #4 | OakleyCord | 21% | 47 |
| #5 | back tizzy | 19% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | iloveoffice | 27% | 22 |
| #3 | Komo | 25% | 4 |
| #4 | OakleyCord | 21% | 47 |
| #5 | back tizzy | 19% | 26 |
| #6 | Sarahmaisbrebis 🥐 | 0% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | back tizzy | 8 | 0.0161 |
| #2 | OakleyCord | 5 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | iloveoffice | 3 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | SpleefSam | 3 | 0.0127 |
| #5 | Sarahmaisbrebis 🥐 | 2 | 0.0146 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | back tizzy | 59 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #2 | OakleyCord | 55 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | iloveoffice | 32 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | SpleefSam | 27 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #5 | Sarahmaisbrebis 🥐 | 6 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sarahmaisbrebis 🥐 | +5.39 | 66 | 45 |
| #2 | iloveoffice | +4.90 | 82 | 32 |
| #3 | OakleyCord | +4.03 | 84 | 35 |
| #4 | SpleefSam | +3.06 | 82 | 40 |
| #5 | back tizzy | +1.73 | 67 | 42 |





