








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 716 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 333 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 92 matches | ||
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




225 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8956 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,665 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8224 | 33% |
| Smokes | 6861 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 6084 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3496 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,997,182 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1551 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Agent_47 | 72% | 54 |
| #2 | JBella | 61% | 119 |
| #3 | SpleefSam | 60% | 100 |
| #4 | Merc | 55% | 56 |
| #5 | Sarahmaisbrebis 🥐 | 54% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Merc | 55% | 56 |
| #5 | Sarahmaisbrebis 🥐 | 54% | 104 |
| #6 | MeganMaldy | 53% | 76 |
| #7 | MeantChr1s | 52% | 98 |
| #8 | OakleyCord | 41% | 170 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JBella | 54 | 0.0229 |
| #2 | Sarahmaisbrebis 🥐 | 53 | 0.0257 |
| #3 | OakleyCord | 34 | 0.0101 |
| #4 | SpleefSam | 8 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | Merc | 8 | 0.0074 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OakleyCord | 290 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #2 | MeantChr1s | 153 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | SpleefSam | 151 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | Agent_47 | 128 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | Sarahmaisbrebis 🥐 | 93 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JBella | +2.91 | 56 | 29 |
| #2 | Merc | +2.60 | 46 | 49 |
| #3 | SpleefSam | +2.22 | 83 | 37 |
| #4 | Agent_47 | +1.45 | 36 | 75 |
| #5 | Sarahmaisbrebis 🥐 | +0.36 | 64 | 34 |





