








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 499 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 118 matches | ||
| Wingman | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




97 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3243 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,499 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3650 | 49% |
| Smokes | 523 | 7% |
| HE Grenades | 1915 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1411 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $723,684 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 926 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vasja | 59% | 27 |
| #2 | siinseal | 43% | 70 |
| #3 | Kebabushka | 38% | 52 |
| #4 | TRIIBUPASTA | 28% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vasja | 59% | 27 |
| #2 | siinseal | 43% | 70 |
| #3 | Kebabushka | 38% | 52 |
| #4 | TRIIBUPASTA | 28% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kebabushka | 28 | 0.0303 |
| #2 | siinseal | 17 | 0.0135 |
| #3 | TRIIBUPASTA | 14 | 0.0129 |
| #4 | vasja | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TRIIBUPASTA | 250 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #2 | Kebabushka | 132 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | siinseal | 114 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | vasja | 56 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kebabushka | +4.43 | 74 | 57 |
| #2 | vasja | +0.95 | 48 | 34 |
| #3 | Tahma_paul | +0.13 | 60 | 42 |
| #4 | TRIIBUPASTA | -3.16 | 34 | 41 |
| #5 | siinseal | -3.81 | 31 | 46 |





