








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1035 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 26 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1502 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,047 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1673 | 33% |
| Smokes | 716 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 1582 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1076 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $343,933 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 890 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | dud | 70% | 33 |
| #4 | Tomay. | 64% | 72 |
| #5 | gelerkehhh | 56% | 103 |
| #6 | Zhaoyr | 56% | 34 |
| #7 | B7 DruMZ | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tomay. | 116 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #2 | gelerkehhh | 114 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | Zhaoyr | 104 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | dud | 72 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Kaylen | 30 | 0.15 | 1 min |





