










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




67 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
935 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,160 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 860 | 40% |
| Smokes | 465 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 475 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 360 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $288,816 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 565 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | eXo | 43% | 23 |
| #9 | SaSS | 33% | 6 |
| #10 | 2UND3R | 27% | 11 |
| #11 | rox | 20% | 10 |
| #12 | outragedbymatu | 13% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eXo | 15 | 0.0354 |
| #2 | mjau. | 13 | 0.0196 |
| #3 | rox | 10 | 0.0488 |
| #4 | fyzz 步 | 8 | 0.0282 |
| #5 | im new | 4 | 0.0148 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mjau. | +5.77 | 81 | 60 |
| #2 | [E] MAFFIA BOSS SPONGE | +1.72 | 71 | 37 |
| #3 | im new | +0.58 | 54 | 26 |
| #4 | SUP | +0.49 | 68 | 35 |
| #5 | rox | -0.35 | 63 | 27 |





