








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1129 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 211 matches | ||
| Wingman | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 139 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2392 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,655 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 992 | 15% |
| Smokes | 2085 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2122 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1456 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $350,787 of utility $52 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 882 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JL Pistachon | 58% | 24 |
| #2 | Kiyweo | 53% | 81 |
| #3 | ..labER.. | 53% | 19 |
| #4 | ⛧𝕭𝕴𝕷𝕴𝕰𝖀𝖃 | 51% | 51 |
| #5 | Baguette | 48% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Kiyweo | 53% | 81 |
| #3 | ..labER.. | 53% | 19 |
| #4 | ⛧𝕭𝕴𝕷𝕴𝕰𝖀𝖃 | 51% | 51 |
| #5 | Baguette | 48% | 44 |
| #6 | Tueur de Kouffars | 45% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⛧𝕭𝕴𝕷𝕴𝕰𝖀𝖃 | 8 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | Baguette | 7 | 0.0079 |
| #3 | Kiyweo | 6 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | Tueur de Kouffars | 4 | 0.0084 |
| #5 | JL Pistachon | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⛧𝕭𝕴𝕷𝕴𝕰𝖀𝖃 | 178 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #2 | Kiyweo | 85 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | Tueur de Kouffars | 63 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | Baguette | 59 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | JL Pistachon | 56 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JL Pistachon | +4.98 | 71 | 69 |
| #2 | Tueur de Kouffars | +3.71 | 31 | 40 |
| #3 | ⛧𝕭𝕴𝕷𝕴𝕰𝖀𝖃 | +3.22 | 60 | 68 |
| #4 | l_NeyRoX_l | +1.40 | 38 | 37 |
| #5 | ..labER.. | +0.77 | 30 | 76 |





