










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
993 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,645 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1051 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1452 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1005 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1137 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $866,460 of utility $242 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1394 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Gamer | 56% | 64 |
| #2 | Investagor Fecal Transfusion | 51% | 65 |
| #3 | Seal Team Wap | 49% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Gamer | 56% | 64 |
| #2 | Investagor Fecal Transfusion | 51% | 65 |
| #3 | Seal Team Wap | 49% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Gamer | 16 | 0.0123 |
| #2 | Investagor Fecal Transfusion | 7 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | Seal Team Wap | 4 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Seal Team Wap | 197 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #2 | The Gamer | 100 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | Investagor Fecal Transfusion | 57 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sᒪᓰᘻ | +1.58 | 37 | 52 |
| #2 | The Gamer | +0.37 | 46 | 46 |
| #3 | Investagor Fecal Transfusion | -0.15 | 29 | 35 |
| #4 | Seal Team Wap | -2.62 | 59 | 51 |





