










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 98 matches | ||
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
638 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,142 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1145 | 53% |
| Smokes | 323 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 205 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 469 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $456,799 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 186 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ch4nc3 | 87% | 15 |
| #2 | rdwxman | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | Blxme | 58% | 19 |
| #4 | Spooky da Scary | 49% | 218 |
| #5 | Wieldy | 48% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spooky da Scary | 22 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | zoeybloweyy | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Wieldy | 3 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | PoonSmoocher | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Gucci Slides | 2 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spooky da Scary | 1057 | 0.25 | 23 min |
| #2 | PoonSmoocher | 313 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #3 | Gucci Slides | 93 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | Blxme | 77 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #5 | Wieldy | 59 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rdwxman | +8.59 | 63 | 46 |
| #2 | Spooky da Scary | +7.01 | 71 | 60 |
| #3 | Bus | +4.79 | 80 | 39 |
| #4 | Blxme | +3.05 | 93 | 50 |
| #5 | Wieldy | +2.43 | 47 | 48 |





