










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 213 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
696 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 955 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 169 | 18% |
| Smokes | 295 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 315 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 176 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $492,295 of utility $314 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 227 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StonerDude | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | Steuerhinterziehung | 67% | 18 |
| #3 | CromaComa | 65% | 26 |
| #4 | Darth Jar Jar Dips | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | d0m | 38% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | CromaComa | 65% | 26 |
| #4 | Darth Jar Jar Dips | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | d0m | 38% | 34 |
| #6 | Richter | 38% | 8 |
| #7 | Logan | 0% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | d0m | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | CromaComa | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Logan | 1 | 0.0152 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | d0m | 153 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #2 | Steuerhinterziehung | 49 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | Richter | 30 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | CromaComa | 29 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | StonerDude | 29 | 0.20 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Darth Jar Jar Dips | +2.79 | 24 | 25 |
| #2 | CromaComa | +2.16 | 54 | 48 |
| #3 | d0m | +1.70 | 74 | 48 |
| #4 | Kred0x1895 | +1.24 | 82 | 32 |
| #5 | Logan | -2.35 | 46 | 13 |





