








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 75 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
504 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 423 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 234 | 55% |
| Smokes | 26 | 6% |
| HE Grenades | 129 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 34 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $226,851 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 49 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | FatBat | 60% | 5 |
| #4 | Hrabia Monte Christo | 60% | 5 |
| #5 | zayonce | 50% | 18 |
| #6 | janina | 48% | 33 |
| #7 | 123 | 48% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 123 | 74 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #2 | zayonce | 42 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | awruk | 41 | 0.29 | 1 min |
| #4 | Hrabia Monte Christo | 17 | 0.19 | 0 min |
| #5 | FatBat | 16 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | awruk | +9.58 | 90 | 71 |
| #2 | 123 | +6.96 | 93 | 63 |
| #3 | FatBat | +5.30 | 95 | 44 |
| #4 | Hrabia Monte Christo | +1.39 | 52 | 31 |
| #5 | zayonce | +1.00 | 86 | 36 |





