








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1025 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 325 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4321 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,336 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4909 | 37% |
| Smokes | 2877 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3015 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2535 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $892,940 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 730 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 123 | 72% | 36 |
| #2 | FatRaccoon | 59% | 34 |
| #3 | FatBear | 55% | 91 |
| #4 | zayonce | 54% | 105 |
| #5 | Bandzi0rPDW | 53% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zayonce | 15 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | FatRat | 10 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | FatRaccoon | 8 | 0.0112 |
| #4 | FatBear | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Bandzi0rPDW | 3 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zayonce | 205 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #2 | 123 | 140 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #3 | FatBear | 105 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | FatRat | 95 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Bandzi0rPDW | 88 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 123 | +5.56 | 91 | 59 |
| #2 | FatBat | +1.20 | 88 | 53 |
| #3 | FatBear | +0.93 | 68 | 50 |
| #4 | zayonce | +0.87 | 71 | 45 |
| #5 | FatRat | +0.52 | 79 | 54 |





