








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 827 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 332 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




128 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3063 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,117 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5302 | 38% |
| Smokes | 4643 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 696 | 5% |
| Molotovs | 3476 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $869,507 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1043 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Toronto | 46% | 204 |
| #7 | 🗿⃤⃢🍷M ATTI ︻芫===== | 44% | 85 |
| #8 | Boski_Zigolo | 42% | 45 |
| #9 | アトリコス🦊 | 41% | 44 |
| #10 | Sanix | 30% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PSZEMEK<3 | 36 | 0.0198 |
| #2 | Sanix | 25 | 0.0221 |
| #3 | Yuki | 17 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Toronto | 16 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Boski_Zigolo | 11 | 0.0118 |





