








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 825 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 73 matches | ||
| Premier | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 10 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2278 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,037 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1565 | 9% |
| Smokes | 4522 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5733 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 5217 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,298,574 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 905 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOMBOCLAT | 20 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Anargas | 17 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | adolfdolf | 14 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Jartsa | 8 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Kyborgi Transformeri | 3 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | adolfdolf | 994 | 0.14 | 22 min |
| #2 | Anargas | 406 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #3 | BOMBOCLAT | 231 | 0.03 | 5 min |
| #4 | Jartsa | 174 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | Kyborgi Transformeri | 100 | 0.11 | 2 min |





