








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 114 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 143 matches | ||
| Wingman | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 241 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2500 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,543 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 175 | 7% |
| Smokes | 465 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 436 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1467 | 58% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,717,717 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 56 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Lodemaria | 63% | 79 |
| #5 | Venlaino | 58% | 53 |
| #6 | Hatsib♡b | 48% | 42 |
| #7 | Kissankarva | 40% | 116 |
| #8 | ? | 32% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hatsib♡b | 6 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | ? | 5 | 0.0078 |
| #3 | Lodemaria | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Ducki | 4 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | Kissankarva | 2 | 0.0009 |





