








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 40 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 65 matches | ||
| Premier | 41 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1072 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,369 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1644 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1124 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1478 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1123 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $206,833 of utility $70 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ΩΡ££ȑẠ| 56% | 25 |
| #2 | troginus | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | Lamborghini Leg Lock | 53% | 17 |
| #4 | Freehoax | 46% | 26 |
| #5 | Crysis | 41% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | troginus | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | Lamborghini Leg Lock | 53% | 17 |
| #4 | Freehoax | 46% | 26 |
| #5 | Crysis | 41% | 27 |
| #6 | Perc-30 | 30% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Perc-30 | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | ΩΡ££ȑẠ| 2 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Crysis | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lamborghini Leg Lock | 43 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #2 | Crysis | 41 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | ΩΡ££ȑẠ| 34 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Freehoax | 33 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Perc-30 | 9 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lamborghini Leg Lock | +4.50 | 78 | 68 |
| #2 | Freehoax | +1.60 | 25 | 63 |
| #3 | ππ’π―π | -0.02 | 56 | 63 |
| #4 | Perc-30 | -0.60 | 22 | 22 |
| #5 | Crysis | -0.63 | 43 | 56 |





