








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 172 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 266 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 186 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 76 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4143 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,075 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3250 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3232 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 5357 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 4236 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $953,416 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 863 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lamborghini Leg Lock | 56% | 64 |
| #2 | Reginaldboons | 49% | 84 |
| #3 | Crysis | 43% | 184 |
| #4 | buttholegun | 41% | 102 |
| #5 | قя££ȡẏ | 41% | 151 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crysis | 10 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | قя££ȡẏ | 8 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | buttholegun | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Reginaldboons | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Lamborghini Leg Lock | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crysis | 365 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #2 | buttholegun | 196 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | Reginaldboons | 150 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | قя££ȡẏ | 146 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | Lamborghini Leg Lock | 131 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lamborghini Leg Lock | +3.26 | 79 | 63 |
| #2 | Reginaldboons | +2.88 | 77 | 61 |
| #3 | Freehoax | +0.53 | 34 | 61 |
| #4 | Crysis | -0.29 | 46 | 54 |
| #5 | قя££ȡẏ | -1.32 | 30 | 47 |





