








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 957 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 142 matches | ||
| Wingman | 121 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




101 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2926 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,388 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 729 | 22% |
| Smokes | 736 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1174 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 749 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $857,702 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 885 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fish on wall | 48% | 168 |
| #2 | Howler | 47% | 64 |
| #3 | Chris tren | 44% | 48 |
| #4 | KiPZ | 37% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fish on wall | 48% | 168 |
| #2 | Howler | 47% | 64 |
| #3 | Chris tren | 44% | 48 |
| #4 | KiPZ | 37% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fish on wall | 27 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | Chris tren | 22 | 0.0240 |
| #3 | Howler | 12 | 0.0093 |
| #4 | KiPZ | 7 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KiPZ | 265 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #2 | Howler | 121 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | fish on wall | 106 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | Chris tren | 25 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | caution | +1.76 | 62 | 29 |
| #2 | KiPZ | +0.17 | 68 | 62 |
| #3 | fish on wall | -1.03 | 34 | 23 |
| #4 | Chris tren | -1.08 | 9 | 27 |
| #5 | Howler | -2.29 | 21 | 33 |





