








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 377 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 44 matches | ||
| Premier | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2476 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,378 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2365 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1220 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 3034 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 759 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $855,871 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SnockDead | 62% | 34 |
| #2 | Misterbabadock | 55% | 31 |
| #3 | N4waK1NG | 55% | 55 |
| #4 | ψ Kaelig ψ | 55% | 132 |
| #5 | Sweet Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ﻝﮞ | 54% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ψ Kaelig ψ | 17 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | N4waK1NG | 10 | 0.0090 |
| #3 | SnockDead | 10 | 0.0150 |
| #4 | Hane | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Misterbabadock | 2 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ψ Kaelig ψ | 602 | 0.23 | 13 min |
| #2 | Hane | 111 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | N4waK1NG | 103 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Misterbabadock | 93 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | SnockDead | 83 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SnockDead | +4.27 | 81 | 59 |
| #2 | ψ Kaelig ψ | +2.63 | 74 | 65 |
| #3 | Hane | +2.44 | 68 | 43 |
| #4 | Misterbabadock | +0.58 | 62 | 68 |
| #5 | -kuqyyy | +0.46 | 67 | 52 |





