








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1280 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 403 matches | ||
| Wingman | 155 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 79 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




233 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5767 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,125 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3100 | 20% |
| Smokes | 8263 | 55% |
| HE Grenades | 1615 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 2147 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $278,257 of utility $19 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1757 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | drgnz | 58% | 128 |
| #2 | Reginald McCumbiscuits | 57% | 61 |
| #3 | [TSFA] JikijAM | 48% | 194 |
| #4 | Tamto | 47% | 92 |
| #5 | Black | 46% | 299 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Black | 46% | 299 |
| #6 | Computerboydude | 45% | 159 |
| #7 | zantige | 44% | 221 |
| #8 | wawa ≽^•⩊•^≼ | 44% | 82 |
| #9 | 4tlas | 42% | 280 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Black | 34 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | zantige | 28 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | drgnz | 28 | 0.0122 |
| #4 | Reginald McCumbiscuits | 23 | 0.0190 |
| #5 | wawa ≽^•⩊•^≼ | 13 | 0.0075 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wawa ≽^•⩊•^≼ | 394 | 0.23 | 10 min |
| #2 | Black | 327 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #3 | Computerboydude | 305 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | [TSFA] JikijAM | 263 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | zantige | 257 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reginald McCumbiscuits | +4.03 | 65 | 45 |
| #2 | Black | +2.58 | 40 | 38 |
| #3 | Computerboydude | +2.36 | 25 | 33 |
| #4 | sqisho | +2.21 | 36 | 29 |
| #5 | [TSFA] JikijAM | -0.39 | 21 | 42 |





