








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1027 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 22 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




133 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7663 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,471 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5830 | 28% |
| Smokes | 7607 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 3098 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 3936 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,144,198 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 887 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Demon Wolf | 64% | 133 |
| #2 | Valentina | 63% | 451 |
| #3 | Dick Turpin | 63% | 135 |
| #4 | maria ♡ | 63% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Demon Wolf | 64% | 133 |
| #2 | Valentina | 63% | 451 |
| #3 | Dick Turpin | 63% | 135 |
| #4 | maria ♡ | 63% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Valentina | 206 | 0.0251 |
| #2 | Dick Turpin | 61 | 0.0236 |
| #3 | Demon Wolf | 11 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | maria ♡ | 5 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Valentina | 2158 | 0.26 | 39 min |
| #2 | Dick Turpin | 696 | 0.27 | 15 min |
| #3 | Demon Wolf | 390 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #4 | maria ♡ | 130 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dick Turpin | +4.68 | 79 | 64 |
| #2 | Crystal | +3.78 | 77 | 56 |
| #3 | Valentina | +3.72 | 83 | 60 |
| #4 | maria ♡ | -2.10 | 55 | 58 |
| #5 | Demon Wolf | -3.23 | 22 | 63 |





