










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 489 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1186 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,051 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2895 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1251 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 2408 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1497 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $758,041 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crystal | 64% | 133 |
| #2 | Dick Turpin | 62% | 149 |
| #3 | Thanatos | 58% | 66 |
| #4 | Meat Shield | 57% | 68 |
| #5 | Professor Big Joey | 50% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thanatos | +4.79 | 78 | 68 |
| #2 | Dick Turpin | +4.79 | 79 | 65 |
| #3 | Professor Big Joey | +4.22 | 74 | 53 |
| #4 | Crystal | +4.16 | 75 | 55 |
| #5 | Meat Shield | +3.18 | 71 | 61 |





