








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 231 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 235 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3249 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,915 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1054 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1768 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2014 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2079 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,017,215 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1136 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝔊𝔞𝔪𝔢𝔯𝔛 | 62% | 26 |
| #2 | Abdu Rozik | 59% | 37 |
| #3 | Felix | 56% | 18 |
| #4 | space man | 54% | 39 |
| #5 | Mike Hunt | 50% | 160 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Abdu Rozik | 59% | 37 |
| #3 | Felix | 56% | 18 |
| #4 | space man | 54% | 39 |
| #5 | Mike Hunt | 50% | 160 |
| #6 | Nutout | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | space man | 11 | 0.0142 |
| #2 | Abdu Rozik | 8 | 0.0102 |
| #3 | Nutout | 8 | 0.0231 |
| #4 | Mike Hunt | 4 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mike Hunt | 473 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #2 | Abdu Rozik | 35 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | Nutout | 27 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #4 | Felix | 17 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | 𝔊𝔞𝔪𝔢𝔯𝔛 | 16 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Felix | +3.27 | 66 | 48 |
| #2 | BusterCherry | +3.11 | 63 | 57 |
| #3 | Abdu Rozik | -0.41 | 61 | 49 |
| #4 | 𝔊𝔞𝔪𝔢𝔯𝔛 | -1.72 | 45 | 27 |
| #5 | space man | -2.17 | 36 | 19 |





