








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1442 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 709 matches | ||
| Wingman | 234 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 151 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 139 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 138 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 93 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




287 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11905 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 34,387 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7799 | 23% |
| Smokes | 10786 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 9720 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 6082 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,118,448 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1270 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...





