








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 497 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 234 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2972 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,218 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1982 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2586 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2222 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1428 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,272,879 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1179 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | кверси | 77% | 31 |
| #2 | hivemind | 73% | 78 |
| #3 | dinfavfinne | 67% | 30 |
| #4 | eanist | 62% | 196 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | кверси | 77% | 31 |
| #2 | hivemind | 73% | 78 |
| #3 | dinfavfinne | 67% | 30 |
| #4 | eanist | 62% | 196 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eanist | 27 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | dinfavfinne | 11 | 0.0215 |
| #3 | hivemind | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | кверси | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eanist | 331 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #2 | dinfavfinne | 68 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | hivemind | 57 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | кверси | 52 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hivemind | +7.65 | 99 | 53 |
| #2 | dinfavfinne | +4.91 | 75 | 49 |
| #3 | eanist | +3.96 | 89 | 50 |
| #4 | кверси | +0.41 | 85 | 48 |
| #5 | minttu | -1.24 | 78 | 43 |





