








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 240 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 41 matches | ||
| Wingman | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9153 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,681 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2658 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2293 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 5868 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 3862 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,720,937 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1691 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | nia | 89% | 75 |
| #6 | кверси | 85% | 72 |
| #7 | EXCUH | 79% | 85 |
| #8 | eanist | 78% | 50 |
| #9 | minttu | 73% | 78 |





