








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 173 matches | ||
| Wingman | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




147 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4357 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,877 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1550 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1227 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 447 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 1653 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $367,050 of utility $33 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FlyMaxFly | 73% | 41 |
| #2 | what4ver | 71% | 92 |
| #3 | owenmcgregor0603 | 55% | 33 |
| #4 | Remember me? | 54% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FlyMaxFly | 73% | 41 |
| #2 | what4ver | 71% | 92 |
| #3 | owenmcgregor0603 | 55% | 33 |
| #4 | Remember me? | 54% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | owenmcgregor0603 | 10 | 0.0155 |
| #2 | what4ver | 8 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | FlyMaxFly | 7 | 0.0095 |
| #4 | Remember me? | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | what4ver | 152 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #2 | Remember me? | 122 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | FlyMaxFly | 82 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | owenmcgregor0603 | 57 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | what4ver | +11.13 | 85 | 52 |
| #2 | FlyMaxFly | +7.01 | 69 | 59 |
| #3 | owenmcgregor0603 | +3.33 | 33 | 67 |
| #4 | Remember me? | +1.75 | 65 | 36 |
| #5 | Surprise | -0.08 | 54 | 20 |





