








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 567 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 252 matches | ||
| Premier | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




131 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3597 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,220 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2726 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1561 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2476 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1457 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $880,858 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 551 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SUURMANN | 55% | 42 |
| #2 | Major | 53% | 32 |
| #3 | 4WaRd | 52% | 33 |
| #4 | deelzf | 47% | 175 |
| #5 | R3APER | 44% | 126 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Major | 53% | 32 |
| #3 | 4WaRd | 52% | 33 |
| #4 | deelzf | 47% | 175 |
| #5 | R3APER | 44% | 126 |
| #6 | Kindral Johan Laidoner | 44% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deelzf | 37 | 0.0112 |
| #2 | R3APER | 34 | 0.0139 |
| #3 | Kindral Johan Laidoner | 31 | 0.0234 |
| #4 | SUURMANN | 10 | 0.0120 |
| #5 | Major | 8 | 0.0118 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deelzf | 670 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| #2 | R3APER | 399 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #3 | Kindral Johan Laidoner | 81 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | SUURMANN | 76 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Major | 75 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R3APER | +1.42 | 63 | 46 |
| #2 | Major | +1.17 | 67 | 62 |
| #3 | deelzf | +0.71 | 46 | 66 |
| #4 | M3diuM- | +0.18 | 55 | 47 |
| #5 | SUURMANN | +0.03 | 71 | 45 |





