








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 638 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 168 matches | ||
| Wingman | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




58 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3761 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,730 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5275 | 36% |
| Smokes | 3470 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3131 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2854 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $835,017 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 409 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SUURMANN | 61% | 128 |
| #2 | kellap | 59% | 22 |
| #3 | Squiks ♿ | 56% | 25 |
| #4 | Major | 56% | 70 |
| #5 | R3APER | 51% | 171 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Major | 56% | 70 |
| #5 | R3APER | 51% | 171 |
| #6 | 4WaRd | 50% | 34 |
| #7 | M3diuM- | 47% | 175 |
| #8 | Kindral Johan Laidoner | 43% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M3diuM- | 50 | 0.0153 |
| #2 | R3APER | 41 | 0.0117 |
| #3 | SUURMANN | 22 | 0.0088 |
| #4 | Kindral Johan Laidoner | 15 | 0.0215 |
| #5 | Major | 14 | 0.0097 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R3APER | 565 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #2 | M3diuM- | 406 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #3 | SUURMANN | 309 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #4 | Major | 180 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | 4WaRd | 82 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Major | +1.90 | 68 | 64 |
| #2 | R3APER | +1.71 | 59 | 51 |
| #3 | kellap | +1.43 | 76 | 44 |
| #4 | deelzf | +1.02 | 49 | 66 |
| #5 | SUURMANN | +0.03 | 72 | 47 |





