








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
287 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 902 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 454 | 50% |
| Smokes | 156 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 190 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 102 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $93,318 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| 100% | 6 | ||
| 91% | 11 | ||
| 80% | 5 | ||
| 70% | 10 | ||
| 57% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| 25% | 4 | ||
| #9 | Autism Powers | 20% | 5 |
| 17% | 6 | ||
| #11 | GET69ND.com | 17% | 6 |
| #12 | NOGGEN :D | 0% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 25 | 0.14 | 1 min | ||
| 21 | 0.15 | 0 min | ||
| #3 | Dinodownie | 21 | 0.25 | 0 min |
| 18 | 0.14 | 0 min | ||
| 15 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| +14.11 | 99 | 37 | ||
| +12.71 | 100 | 73 | ||
| +6.91 | 90 | 55 | ||
| +4.27 | 99 | 53 | ||
| +4.20 | 81 | 70 |





