








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 61 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
491 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,421 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 798 | 33% |
| Smokes | 428 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 885 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 310 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $90,527 of utility $57 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johnnie Walker | 46% | 13 |
| #2 | GET69ND.com | 43% | 77 |
| 33% | 6 | ||
| #4 | Rock Melker | 31% | 13 |
| #5 | ALSIS_Samkie | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johnnie Walker | 46% | 13 |
| #2 | GET69ND.com | 43% | 77 |
| 33% | 6 | ||
| #4 | Rock Melker | 31% | 13 |
| #5 | ALSIS_Samkie | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rock Melker | 11 | 0.0410 |
| #2 | Johnnie Walker | 8 | 0.1081 |
| #3 | GET69ND.com | 6 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | ALSIS_Samkie | 4 | 0.0163 |
| 2 | 0.0196 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GET69ND.com | 105 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #2 | Rock Melker | 50 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #3 | ALSIS_Samkie | 26 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| 17 | 0.17 | 1 min | ||
| #5 | Johnnie Walker | 9 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| +8.39 | 90 | 70 | ||
| #2 | GET69ND.com | +1.69 | 36 | 53 |
| #3 | Johnnie Walker | -0.31 | 68 | 20 |
| #4 | Rock Melker | -0.70 | 28 | 32 |
| #5 | Dinodownie | -1.52 | 40 | 44 |





