








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 914 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 482 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 165 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 50 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 68 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7827 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,382 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3496 | 19% |
| Smokes | 5708 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 5965 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 3213 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,539,174 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2619 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Le B #LAFRAUDE | 12 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | WhyNot?! | 11 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | ✪ Kenny ✪ | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | =TTF=TamZaK | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | KoRoZiff | 5 | 0.0023 |





