










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 694 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 97 matches | ||
| Wingman | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1543 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,471 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 645 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1163 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1254 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1409 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $909,578 of utility $226 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 402 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kehari | 56% | 71 |
| #2 | megis | 56% | 43 |
| #3 | Monkey! | 54% | 70 |
| #4 | Gmail fan | 53% | 45 |
| #5 | Yöntimo | 52% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yöntimo | 22 | 0.0162 |
| #2 | megis | 13 | 0.0148 |
| #3 | WellP | 12 | 0.0083 |
| #4 | Gmail fan | 12 | 0.0153 |
| #5 | Monkey! | 5 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Monkey! | 272 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #2 | WellP | 182 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | Yöntimo | 118 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | megis | 95 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | kehari | 69 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | megis | +5.12 | 82 | 51 |
| #2 | Loggins | +2.17 | 62 | 40 |
| #3 | Yöntimo | +1.12 | 74 | 47 |
| #4 | WellP | +0.80 | 60 | 51 |
| #5 | Monkey! | -0.30 | 51 | 47 |





