










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
434 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,311 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 113 | 9% |
| Smokes | 205 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 502 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 491 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $653,322 of utility $370 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 206 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yöntimo | 56% | 48 |
| #2 | es | 56% | 18 |
| #3 | Loggins | 53% | 45 |
| #4 | kehari | 50% | 14 |
| #5 | Monkey! | 50% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | megis | 12 | 0.0229 |
| #2 | Yöntimo | 10 | 0.0115 |
| #3 | es | 9 | 0.0259 |
| #4 | WellP | 7 | 0.0115 |
| #5 | Loggins | 4 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Monkey! | 99 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| #2 | Yöntimo | 97 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | WellP | 89 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | megis | 54 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | es | 50 | 0.14 | 1 min |





