








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 762 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




97 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4566 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,823 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2888 | 37% |
| Smokes | 1001 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 3068 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 866 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,451,463 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 312 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | doner kebab | 59% | 74 |
| #2 | Вася из Ростова | 59% | 106 |
| #3 | RIHARDINS | 58% | 154 |
| #4 | José Luis Montoya | 55% | 106 |
| #5 | ThomasTheTrain | 52% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | José Luis Montoya | 55% | 106 |
| #5 | ThomasTheTrain | 52% | 23 |
| #6 | maarcismaarcismaarcismaarcis | 48% | 93 |
| #7 | Laims | 48% | 23 |
| #8 | Biruta | 43% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Вася из Ростова | 46 | 0.0223 |
| #2 | RIHARDINS | 44 | 0.0156 |
| #3 | maarcismaarcismaarcismaarcis | 18 | 0.0124 |
| #4 | José Luis Montoya | 14 | 0.0071 |
| #5 | ThomasTheTrain | 8 | 0.0167 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Вася из Ростова | 411 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #2 | RIHARDINS | 358 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | maarcismaarcismaarcismaarcis | 161 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Biruta | 89 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | ThomasTheTrain | 51 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dxdy | +3.72 | 88 | 53 |
| #2 | Вася из Ростова | +0.76 | 53 | 51 |
| #3 | RIHARDINS | +0.07 | 59 | 57 |
| #4 | ThomasTheTrain | -0.35 | 47 | 54 |
| #5 | Laims | -1.85 | 58 | 40 |





