










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
184 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 458 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 226 | 49% |
| Smokes | 64 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 75 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 93 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $125,859 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jclutch | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | BIGoz | 55% | 47 |
| #3 | Parcs | 55% | 20 |
| #4 | gunner12gamer12 | 52% | 25 |
| #5 | Stormy | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | BIGoz | 55% | 47 |
| #3 | Parcs | 55% | 20 |
| #4 | gunner12gamer12 | 52% | 25 |
| #5 | Stormy | 40% | 5 |
| #6 | 1900s Handheld Duster | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gunner12gamer12 | 13 | 0.0263 |
| #2 | BIGoz | 10 | 0.0112 |
| #3 | Parcs | 8 | 0.0193 |
| #4 | Stormy | 1 | 0.0105 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BIGoz | 179 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #2 | gunner12gamer12 | 92 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #3 | Parcs | 62 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | Jclutch | 25 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #5 | 1900s Handheld Duster | 13 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BIGoz | +6.89 | 85 | 50 |
| #2 | gunner12gamer12 | +3.37 | 49 | 59 |
| #3 | Parcs | -0.16 | 69 | 52 |
| #4 | 1900s Handheld Duster | -1.39 | 37 | 49 |
| #5 | Jclutch | -2.56 | 25 | 51 |





