










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 337 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2881 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,394 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2957 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2249 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2376 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1812 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,741,300 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 144 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | emilampuu | 49% | 244 |
| #4 | nuarimuico | 49% | 301 |
| #5 | 𝒦𝐸𝒮𝒮𝒰𝐿 | 47% | 38 |
| #6 | RoppeN | 47% | 285 |
| #7 | Puukkojaska | 45% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RoppeN | 35 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | emilampuu | 29 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | nuarimuico | 14 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Nyrkki | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Puukkojaska | 5 | 0.0074 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RoppeN | 479 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #2 | nuarimuico | 451 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #3 | Nyrkki | 407 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #4 | emilampuu | 378 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #5 | 𝒦𝐸𝒮𝒮𝒰𝐿 | 152 | 0.20 | 3 min |





