








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 702 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 545 matches | ||
| Wingman | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




62 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5008 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,600 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4472 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3610 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2289 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2229 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,323,827 of utility $217 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 887 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝒦𝐸𝒮𝒮𝒰𝐿 | 58% | 57 |
| #2 | Nyrkki | 53% | 311 |
| #3 | emilampuu | 48% | 309 |
| #4 | $jUNO$ | 47% | 285 |
| #5 | nuarimuico | 46% | 491 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Nyrkki | 53% | 311 |
| #3 | emilampuu | 48% | 309 |
| #4 | $jUNO$ | 47% | 285 |
| #5 | nuarimuico | 46% | 491 |
| #6 | Puukkojaska | 42% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | emilampuu | 39 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | nuarimuico | 19 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | 𝒦𝐸𝒮𝒮𝒰𝐿 | 13 | 0.0109 |
| #4 | $jUNO$ | 10 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Nyrkki | 8 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nuarimuico | 741 | 0.08 | 16 min |
| #2 | $jUNO$ | 581 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #3 | emilampuu | 473 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #4 | Nyrkki | 456 | 0.07 | 11 min |
| #5 | 𝒦𝐸𝒮𝒮𝒰𝐿 | 234 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝒦𝐸𝒮𝒮𝒰𝐿 | +8.43 | 88 | 66 |
| #2 | emilampuu | +2.82 | 76 | 51 |
| #3 | Nyrkki | +2.14 | 64 | 51 |
| #4 | Puukkojaska | +0.87 | 72 | 24 |
| #5 | RoppeN | -0.86 | 39 | 44 |





