








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1481 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 653 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 87 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5565 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,749 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2875 | 15% |
| Smokes | 7876 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 4615 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4383 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,108,084 of utility $259 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 791 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lord Confundus | 51% | 120 |
| #2 | [AA] Pim de Keysergracht | 49% | 79 |
| #3 | [AA] Bobby Olsen | 49% | 69 |
| #4 | k3rmitZ^ | 48% | 73 |
| #5 | tsunamo | 47% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | KingWraithDK | 43% | 68 |
| #10 | ☢ Deadpool_DK ☢ | 42% | 249 |
| #11 | BloodsuckerDAD | 39% | 67 |
| #12 | KANNE | 37% | 41 |
| #13 | *K0ngen|* | 31% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☢ Deadpool_DK ☢ | 15 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | [AA] Pim de Keysergracht | 14 | 0.0084 |
| #3 | </Scorpion> | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Lord Confundus | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | tsunamo | 4 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☢ Deadpool_DK ☢ | 519 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #2 | Lord Confundus | 137 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #3 | tsunamo | 133 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | [AA] Bobby Olsen | 117 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | BloodsuckerDAD | 112 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ondand | +2.39 | 31 | 59 |
| #2 | KANNE | +2.11 | 44 | 60 |
| #3 | Lord Confundus | +1.59 | 26 | 65 |
| #4 | k3rmitZ^ | +1.30 | 39 | 48 |
| #5 | [AA] Bobby Olsen | +0.03 | 39 | 48 |





