








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 74 matches | ||
| Premier | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
941 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,408 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 688 | 29% |
| Smokes | 570 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 790 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 360 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $350,140 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 150 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zusm0rin | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | devikla | 46% | 13 |
| #3 | andreassten | 44% | 45 |
| #4 | neonyks | 42% | 26 |
| #5 | Yoroko | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zusm0rin | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | devikla | 46% | 13 |
| #3 | andreassten | 44% | 45 |
| #4 | neonyks | 42% | 26 |
| #5 | Yoroko | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | andreassten | 7 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | neonyks | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Zusm0rin | 2 | 0.0106 |
| #4 | devikla | 1 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | Yoroko | 1 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | andreassten | 89 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #2 | Yoroko | 58 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| #3 | Zusm0rin | 45 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #4 | devikla | 42 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | neonyks | 22 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zusm0rin | +4.23 | 49 | 63 |
| #2 | devikla | +1.70 | 50 | 50 |
| #3 | Yoroko | +0.77 | 62 | 68 |
| #4 | Gepu | -2.16 | 62 | 35 |
| #5 | andreassten | -2.30 | 44 | 36 |





