








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 627 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 488 matches | ||
| Wingman | 159 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




117 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5482 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,823 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4401 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3858 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3658 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1906 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,699,813 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1092 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | !Melfis! | 76% | 41 |
| #2 | Boom | 64% | 44 |
| #3 | Yoroko | 56% | 81 |
| #4 | devikla | 53% | 75 |
| #5 | Cpred | 49% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Yoroko | 56% | 81 |
| #4 | devikla | 53% | 75 |
| #5 | Cpred | 49% | 49 |
| #6 | Gepu | 44% | 45 |
| #7 | neonyks | 42% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yoroko | 18 | 0.0116 |
| #2 | Boom | 13 | 0.0158 |
| #3 | neonyks | 12 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | devikla | 9 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | Gepu | 6 | 0.0071 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yoroko | 313 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #2 | Cpred | 303 | 0.33 | 5 min |
| #3 | devikla | 171 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | neonyks | 122 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | Gepu | 110 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | !Melfis! | +5.01 | 85 | 66 |
| #2 | Yoroko | +3.65 | 70 | 65 |
| #3 | Boom | +2.46 | 92 | 57 |
| #4 | devikla | +1.94 | 54 | 54 |
| #5 | Cpred | +0.04 | 49 | 61 |





