










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
178 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 399 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 138 | 35% |
| Smokes | 88 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 93 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 80 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $45,964 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1094 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ash | 100% | 6 |
| #2 | fih | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | brian | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | 1'd hhhh | 64% | 11 |
| #5 | quakiii | 50% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Derstar | 33% | 3 |
| #9 | Gragon5layer | 33% | 9 |
| #10 | Daddy Henrix | 0% | 2 |
| #11 | Niklaspoo | 0% | 2 |
| #12 | Kela™ Platinum® Asiakas nro 1 | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1'd hhhh | 7 | 0.0424 |
| #2 | ash | 6 | 0.0619 |
| #3 | fih | 4 | 0.0444 |
| #4 | brian | 4 | 0.0513 |
| #5 | Gragon5layer | 2 | 0.0129 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1'd hhhh | 56 | 0.34 | 1 min |
| #2 | ash | 21 | 0.22 | 0 min |
| #3 | fih | 12 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #4 | THEODORE | 9 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #5 | brian | 8 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1'd hhhh | +6.05 | 69 | 44 |
| #2 | fih | +5.36 | 72 | 53 |
| #3 | ash | +2.39 | 56 | 33 |
| #4 | Derstar | +2.07 | 50 | 56 |
| #5 | us | +1.68 | 59 | 42 |





