








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 90 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 50 matches | ||
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1170 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,817 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 507 | 18% |
| Smokes | 524 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1077 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 709 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $618,998 of utility $229 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 88 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | baytona | 63% | 27 |
| #2 | zqe | 62% | 29 |
| #3 | Vipy | 57% | 90 |
| #4 | pulse | 48% | 25 |
| #5 | AalongTimeAgo | 23% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | baytona | 63% | 27 |
| #2 | zqe | 62% | 29 |
| #3 | Vipy | 57% | 90 |
| #4 | pulse | 48% | 25 |
| #5 | AalongTimeAgo | 23% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vipy | 9 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | pulse | 6 | 0.0145 |
| #3 | zqe | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | baytona | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | AalongTimeAgo | 1 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vipy | 148 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #2 | zqe | 66 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | baytona | 52 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | pulse | 22 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | AalongTimeAgo | 22 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vipy | +4.42 | 81 | 40 |
| #2 | zqe | +4.37 | 86 | 57 |
| #3 | Thesi | +0.62 | 72 | 40 |
| #4 | pulse | +0.61 | 85 | 37 |
| #5 | baytona | +0.09 | 57 | 43 |





