










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 19 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank |
|---|
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 4 different maps




Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
27 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 179 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6 | 3% |
| Smokes | 35 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 61 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 77 | 43% |
Our logs show you have wasted $55,500 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | *₭1ⱠⱠɆⱤ* | 10% | 10 |
| #3 | h3x- | 9% | 11 |
| #4 | !X_GrincH_X! | 9% | 11 |
| #5 | StabFiend | 0% | 10 |
| #6 | TruthSeeker | 0% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TruthSeeker | 1 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | !X_GrincH_X! | 1 | 0.0061 |





