










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1006 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2001 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,951 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 954 | 49% |
| Smokes | 388 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 371 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 238 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $898,009 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 231 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Astro | 18 | 0.0118 |
| #2 | LingLing | 12 | 0.0087 |
| #3 | samwich | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | ♥cheeks♥ | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | ToastedZev | 2 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Astro | 312 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #2 | samwich | 124 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #3 | Ahgoni | 118 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | ToxicReaper | 96 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | † A𝔥𝔤𝔬𝔫𝔦 † | 60 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ToastedZev | +8.32 | 84 | 39 |
| #2 | † A𝔥𝔤𝔬𝔫𝔦 † | +5.89 | 57 | 65 |
| #3 | Ahgoni | +4.98 | 72 | 40 |
| #4 | ToxicReaper | +2.16 | 46 | 60 |
| #5 | ♥cheeks♥ | +1.46 | 26 | 30 |





