








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 961 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 49 matches | ||
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4726 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,843 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3753 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3279 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3001 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2810 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $745,247 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 718 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jacobe | 69% | 26 |
| #2 | samwich | 63% | 38 |
| #3 | ToastedZev | 63% | 97 |
| #4 | Ghosty | 54% | 39 |
| #5 | ♥cheeks♥ | 54% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | LingLing | 41% | 34 |
| #8 | Astro | 41% | 27 |
| #9 | Prime | 41% | 54 |
| #10 | Optimus | 40% | 52 |
| #11 | D3adCl0wn | 26% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ghosty | 6 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | ToxicReaper | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | ToastedZev | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Prime | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | LingLing | 2 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ToxicReaper | 666 | 0.17 | 18 min |
| #2 | ToastedZev | 176 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | Optimus | 135 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | Astro | 80 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | Prime | 39 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jacobe | +7.10 | 94 | 16 |
| #2 | ToastedZev | +5.89 | 78 | 36 |
| #3 | Ahgoni | +3.09 | 63 | 51 |
| #4 | Optimus | +1.09 | 38 | 39 |
| #5 | Ghosty | -0.91 | 17 | 34 |





