








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 27 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 25 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
426 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 927 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 334 | 36% |
| Smokes | 252 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 209 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 132 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $51,262 of utility $50 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Coude | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | MAAX𒉭 | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | Dr4x | 60% | 20 |
| #4 | HUGO_BOX | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | 𝗭𝗼̄𝗸𝗮 | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | HUGO_BOX | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | 𝗭𝗼̄𝗸𝗮 | 40% | 5 |
| #6 | Redskull.Is.N°5 | 38% | 8 |
| #7 | Saekod IV | 38% | 8 |
| #8 | ❀Kanah❀ | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr4x | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr4x | 71 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #2 | Redskull.Is.N°5 | 30 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #3 | Saekod IV | 28 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | Coude | 10 | 0.18 | 0 min |
| #5 | 𝗭𝗼̄𝗸𝗮 | 8 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MAAX𒉭 | +6.39 | 72 | 61 |
| #2 | Dr4x | +2.61 | 59 | 45 |
| #3 | HUGO_BOX | +1.40 | 84 | 38 |
| #4 | Coude | +1.09 | 90 | 66 |
| #5 | Redskull.Is.N°5 | +0.93 | 67 | 70 |





