








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 641 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 592 matches | ||
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




179 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3505 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,364 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2304 | 53% |
| Smokes | 682 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 807 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 571 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,047,537 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10066 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♡t*ö♡ | 32% | 59 |
| #2 | make | 29% | 70 |
| #3 | shk | 16% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♡t*ö♡ | 32% | 59 |
| #2 | make | 29% | 70 |
| #3 | shk | 16% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | make | 52 | 0.0447 |
| #2 | shk | 27 | 0.0344 |
| #3 | ♡t*ö♡ | 8 | 0.0074 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | make | 56 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #2 | ♡t*ö♡ | 52 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | shk | 21 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | make | +0.88 | 36 | 14 |
| #2 | shk | -0.89 | 26 | 5 |
| #3 | ♡t*ö♡ | -3.04 | 49 | 22 |
| #4 | SibulaKass | -3.36 | 16 | 21 |





