








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 96 matches | ||
| Wingman | 58 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1512 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,337 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 410 | 8% |
| Smokes | 3016 | 57% |
| HE Grenades | 864 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1047 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $462,373 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ๐ฏ๐ป๐ฎ๐ช๐ด๐ Kurdo | 60% | 177 |
| #2 | Kรถnig von | 60% | 175 |
| #3 | ๐ฏ๐ป๐ฎ๐ช๐ด๐ Sugug | 56% | 84 |
| #4 | Berukan | 54% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ๐ฏ๐ป๐ฎ๐ช๐ด๐ Kurdo | 60% | 177 |
| #2 | Kรถnig von | 60% | 175 |
| #3 | ๐ฏ๐ป๐ฎ๐ช๐ด๐ Sugug | 56% | 84 |
| #4 | Berukan | 54% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ๐ฏ๐ป๐ฎ๐ช๐ด๐ Kurdo | 32 | 0.0088 |
| #2 | Kรถnig von | 23 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | Berukan | 8 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | ๐ฏ๐ป๐ฎ๐ช๐ด๐ Sugug | 6 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ๐ฏ๐ป๐ฎ๐ช๐ด๐ Kurdo | 305 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #2 | Berukan | 167 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | Kรถnig von | 75 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #4 | ๐ฏ๐ป๐ฎ๐ช๐ด๐ Sugug | 70 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ๐ฏ๐ป๐ฎ๐ช๐ด๐ Kurdo | +4.15 | 73 | 44 |
| #2 | Kรถnig von | +0.29 | 71 | 25 |
| #3 | ๐ฏ๐ป๐ฎ๐ช๐ด๐ Bubatz | -0.94 | 59 | 38 |
| #4 | ๐ฏ๐ป๐ฎ๐ช๐ด๐ Sugug | -1.12 | 60 | 36 |
| #5 | Berukan | -1.34 | 44 | 57 |





