








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 31 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
935 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,751 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 191 | 11% |
| Smokes | 619 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 615 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 326 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $485,131 of utility $186 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ๐ฏ๐ป๐ฎ๐ช๐ด๐ Bubatz | 56% | 84 |
| #2 | ๐ฏ๐ป๐ฎ๐ช๐ด๐ Kurdo | 55% | 108 |
| #3 | Berukan | 53% | 72 |
| #4 | Kรถnig von | 51% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ๐ฏ๐ป๐ฎ๐ช๐ด๐ Bubatz | 56% | 84 |
| #2 | ๐ฏ๐ป๐ฎ๐ช๐ด๐ Kurdo | 55% | 108 |
| #3 | Berukan | 53% | 72 |
| #4 | Kรถnig von | 51% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ๐ฏ๐ป๐ฎ๐ช๐ด๐ Kurdo | 19 | 0.0081 |
| #2 | Kรถnig von | 16 | 0.0087 |
| #3 | ๐ฏ๐ป๐ฎ๐ช๐ด๐ Bubatz | 7 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | Berukan | 5 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ๐ฏ๐ป๐ฎ๐ช๐ด๐ Kurdo | 186 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #2 | Berukan | 122 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | Kรถnig von | 54 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | ๐ฏ๐ป๐ฎ๐ช๐ด๐ Bubatz | 35 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ๐ฏ๐ป๐ฎ๐ช๐ด๐ Kurdo | +4.30 | 72 | 45 |
| #2 | Berukan | -0.69 | 48 | 60 |
| #3 | Kรถnig von | -0.90 | 71 | 25 |
| #4 | ๐ฏ๐ป๐ฎ๐ช๐ด๐ Sugug | -1.48 | 56 | 34 |
| #5 | ๐ฏ๐ป๐ฎ๐ช๐ด๐ Bubatz | -2.04 | 55 | 37 |





